What is the Significance of Today?
by tonystarksnipples
Summary: "Steve knew he was being whiny. He knew he was acting like a brat and a child. But here Tony was, telling Steve that he loved him, telling Steve the words that he had so long wished to hear on Tony's lips, while not even thinking about him for a second." Steve's birthday.


He could tolerate it. Usually. Tony stumbling into his room. Drunk. High. Reeking of cigarettes. Always needing Steve. Steve loved Tony more than anything, and even though the smell made him sick, he'd scoot over in his twin bed to make room for Tony to curl up beside him and fall asleep.

Steve wasn't sure what made Tony do it. The Tony he worked with, the Tony he talked with, the Tony he ate with and lived with and interacted with on a daily basis was so strong. But on these nights when Tony would crawl into his bed, Steve saw the brokenness that Tony struggled so hard to hide.

Every time it happened, Tony would fall asleep with his hands knotted into Steve's shirt and Steve would lay awake and cry. He wanted nothing more in this world than to help Tony. He wanted to help the man he loved fight his demons and come out on the other side happy. But in the morning, Tony wouldn't so much as say _thank you_ before leaving. When Steve would see him next, Tony would be nothing but his normal facade and their friends would be oblivious.

Steve wasn't sure why Tony chose _him_ but he was glad that he had. Even though he hated it, it made it so that he would be able to do something for the man he loved.

But when he heard Tony scraping at the door, attempting to find the handle, his only thought was _Not tonight_. His heart sunk in his chest. Had Tony forgotten? The scraping continued and the sound was setting Steve on edge. He pushed the covers back and went to the door. He pulled it open and Tony stumbled into him.

"The handle was hiding."

"Not tonight, Tony."

"But Steeeeeeve," Tony whined. "I need you."

Steve closed his eyes and sighed. "Fine." As he said it, he hated himself. Why couldn't he say no to Tony? He deserved to be taken care _of_ on his birthday, not having to take care. But regardless of betrayed he felt over Tony's forgetting, he pulled the smaller man to his chest and hugged him.

What if Tony _hadn't_ forgotten? What if he was well aware that he had woken Steve up in the middle of the night on his birthday to accomplish his own ends? Steve wasn't sure which thought hurt more.

As always, Steve felt himself begin to cry. Tony's breathing had slowed and so Steve allowed himself to hurt.

"I'm sorry," Tony whispered. "I'm sorry that I make you cry."

"You're supposed to be asleep."

"I never sleep here."

"Then why do you come?" Steve demanded. "Why do you come in here and wake me up and… and… why?"

"Because I need you. I trust you. I love you."

"You love me? Okay then, do you have any idea what today is, Tony?"

"Today is today. Tomorrow's tomorrow. Our lives are speeding past us, let's not spend them fighting."

"What is the significance of today?" Steve probed.

"Today is the fourth of July and—" Tony sat up bolt straight. "Holy mother fucker it's your birthday. I'm so sorry."

Steve shook his head and rolled to his side, his back to Tony. "Just go away. I'll see you tomorrow."

"As in the fifth?"

"No, as in morning. Please leave."

Steve knew he was being whiny. He knew he was acting like a brat and a child. But here Tony was, telling Steve that he loved him, telling Steve the words that he had so long wished to hear on Tony's lips, while not even thinking about him for a second.

"Steve—" Tony whispered, curling his body around Steve's. His arm reached under the soldier's arm. Tony held him in his arms like Steve had done so many times for him. Steve wished he could relax into Tony's touch. He wished he could fall under Tony's spell like he had so many times before. "I'm sorry," Tony whispered into his ear. "I'm so sorry, Steve. Please don't make me leave. I love you."

Steve's will broke and he rolled back over, pulling Tony to him, and kissed his hair. "I love you, too." Steve had finally been able to bring himself to say it. He had never planned on telling Tony.

For good reasons, apparently, because when he woke up the next morning, Tony was gone. Tony wasn't on Steve's floor, he wasn't on his own floor, and he wasn't on the common floor. Tony had left Stark Tower and for some reason, there was a nagging feeling inside Steve that he wasn't coming back.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Mleh. Stupid drabble I wrote because it's my birthday and I felt like a birthday fic, but there are enough birthday fics that are happy, so...**

**I don't care for this, but I spent the time writing it, so here ya go. **


End file.
